When I grow up, I want to be…

…a Beta Mom:

And now an anti-Alpha movement is taking hold. Those moms have it together sometimes. They may forget to send back permission slips or lose track of their turn for team snacks. They don’t necessarily have the catchy name, though some call themselves Beta Moms or even Slacker Moms as they urge their peers to chill.

Some, including former CBS TV news anchor René Syler, have written books advising the Alphas to lighten up.

“Our children are people — not projects,” says Syler, 44, of Westchester County, N.Y. “Motherhood is not a contest.”

“We get to the finish line. It’s OK to chill out a little bit and let your kids be independent, and individuals, and revel in who they are,” says Syler, author of Good-Enough Mother: The Perfectly Imperfect Book of Parenting.

Actually, I think I already may be one by default, because I sure can’t make the cut for the Alpha Mom role. Might as well be proud if it, eh?

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5 Responses

  1. I have some Alpha Mom leanings, but I recognize that I’m not cut out for it, nor is it the best thing for my kids. 😉 I think the hardest part for me will be figuring out when my kids are old enough to be given freedom. Right now my oldest is 3, so of course I don’t let him out on his own. I see all of these stupid kids in my apartment complex who play in the parking lot without any regard to drivers and think, “My kids aren’t going to do things like that!” 🙂

  2. Here is an excerpt from an article a friend of mine wrote that I liked because it put the whole mommy lable discussion into perspective:

    “There is a wide choice of maternal identities out there on the shelf; but they all have one striking thing in common. Whatever identity you choose, it is All About You – what you want for yourself, your life, your kids. In today’s mummy culture, the ebb and flow of family life doesn’t really figure. Motherhood is transformed into an individual consumer experience, where you decide what you think it should all be about and hone your personality, friendship circle and nursery equipment accordingly. It’s like having a birth plan that begins with conception and lasts forever. And, as with birth plans, even the most painstaking Identity Work tends to get messed up by real life.”

    Here’s the whole thing: http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php?/site/article/3077/

    Me, I’m just happy to be known locally as “the voice of reason” 😉

  3. when I grow up I want to be a lion tamer!

  4. I love that Jennie Bristow series. I don’t always agree with everything she writes and some of the stuff is not universally applicable (being Brit-oriented), but she says a lot of things most mothers only dare to think.

  5. I like it. It’s not good for kids in the long run for their moms to get their self-worth from how perfect a parenting job they’re doing. Sooner or later the kid will be imperfect, the mom’s self-image will be threatened, and she’ll take it out on the kid.

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